Exercise 1

A. Listen. What are they talking about?

a   Ed’s problems at work

b   Ed’s conversation with Pam

 Ed’s new job

B. Listen again. Answer the questions.

 How does Pam feel about law school?

 What plan did Ed and Pam make?

 Why doesn’t Ed know Pam well?

C. Listen. Complete the conversation.

Ed:   Oh, and she asked ___________ with the new website. I told her we’d only gotten a few complaints.

Ahmet:   Just a few!

Ed:   Yeah. I told her that we’re working on it. And I asked ___________ for working with Charles.

Answers & Audioscripts

A

b

B

1   She likes law school, but she misses everyone.

2   They are going to have lunch.

3   He never worked with her directly.

A B

Ed:   Sorry I’m late, but I have a good excuse!

Ahmet:   No problem. But what happened?

Ed:   I ran into Pam on the way here!

Ahmet:   Pam who used to work here? How nice! Does she like law school?

Ed:   She does! Lots of work though. And she misses everyone here.

Ahmet:   Did she ask if you were enjoying her old job on the social media team?

Ed:   Oh yeah, we talked all about it. It was a really interesting conversation. In fact, we’re going to get lunch soon to catch up some more.

Ahmet:   That’s great! I guess you didn’t know her too well before, did you?

Ed:   No. I had done a lot of writing for the social media team, but I never really worked with Pam directly.

Ahmet:   Well, she knows a lot. And I’m sure she’ll have some good advice for you about the job. She could probably answer any questions you have, too.

Ed:   Yeah. It’s not so much that I have questions, more like, it’s just nice to talk with someone who’s had the same experience, you know?

Ahmet:   Yeah, I get what you’re saying.

Ed:   Oh, and she asked whether we were still having problems with the website. I told her we’d only gotten a few complaints.

Ahmet:   Just a few!

Ed:   Yeah. I told her that we’re working on it. And I asked if she had any suggestions for working with Charles.

Ahmet:   Charles? The user experience guy? He can be a little difficult sometimes.

Ed:   I think it’s just that he makes you follow the “correct procedure.” But Pam said he always has good ideas.

Ahmet:   Pam can always see the good in people! She has great people skills.

Ed:   I know! I wish she were still on the social media team.

Ahmet:   Except then you wouldn’t have your job!

Ed:   Good point!

C

Ed:   Oh, and she asked whether we were still having problems with the website. I told her we’d only gotten a few complaints.

Ahmet:   Just a few!

Ed:   Yeah. I told her that we’re working on it. And I asked if she had any suggestions for working with Charles.

Exercise 2

A. Listen. Why is Ed upset?

B. Listen again. Answer the questions.

1   What did the tech team say about the problem?

2   What does Paula think Ed should do?

3   What does Ed decide to do in the end?

C. Listen. Complete the conversation.

Paula:   Oh, yeah! I ran into Marta from customer service in the lobby this morning and she told me a customer had had problems finding some information on the website.

Ed:   What was ____________?

Paula:   The contact information for the Beijing office.

Answers & Audioscripts

A

The website has a bunch of broken links, and the tech team hasn’t fixed them.

B

 It was a little complicated and it would take a while.

 He should develop a relationship with the tech team so he can feel comfortable talking to them.

 He decides to meet up with the tech team.

A B

Ed:   Yeah… yeah… OK. I’ll check on it and get back to you.

Paula:   You seem upset. What’s going on?

Ed:   The website has a bunch of broken links. The tech team was supposed to have fixed it, but they haven’t gotten to it yet.

Paula:   Oh, yeah! I ran into Marta from customer service in the lobby this morning, and she told me a customer had had problems finding some information on the website.

Ed:   What was she looking for?

Paula:   The contact information for the Beijing office.

Ed:   We need to take care of our clients, or we’re going to lose them.

Paula:   Well, why is it taking the tech guys so long? Did they give you an explanation?

Ed:   Kind of. They said it was a little complicated and that it would take a while.

Paula:   You know that’s not good enough. Did you speak up?

Ed:   I agree with you, but… I just… I’m new to the social media team. I want to get along with people.

Paula:   But what the tech team does affects your work, right?

Ed:   Well, yeah. I mean, the social media accounts are always pointing people to the website, and when the website doesn’t work, customers complain to us.

Paula:   You need to develop a relationship with the tech team so you feel comfortable talking to them about this.

Ed:   Yeah, you’re right. I’ll try to meet up with them so I’m sure we’re all on the same page. We really need to keep our customers happy.

Paula:   And you!

C

Paula:   Oh, yeah! I ran into Marta from customer service in the lobby this morning, and she told me a customer had had problems finding some information on the website.

Ed:   What was she looking for?

Paula:   The contact information for the Beijing office.

Exercise 3

A. Listen. What is the purpose of the talk?

a   to help you teach diff cult people how to change their behavior

b   to give you ideas for controlling your reactions to difficult people

c   to explain why diff cult people behave the way they do

B. Listen again. Complete the sentences with words that signal importance.

 It’s not the easiest advice to follow, but it might help lower your stress. _____________, stay calm.

 It is _____________ important not to argue with unreasonable people.

C. Listen again. Complete the sentences with the words in the box.

respectful     stress     demand

listen to     take care of     understand

 Diff cult people are a major source of __________ in the workplace.

 It’s important to really __________ difficult people, and be __________.

 Don’t say that you __________.

 Don’t __________ that the person change his or her behavior.

 After you have dealt with a diff cult person, you need to __________ your own stress.

Answers & Audioscripts

A

b

B

1 Most important   2 particularly

C

1 stress   2 listen to, respectful   3 understand

4 demand   5 take care of

When People are the Problem

You can’t escape them. They’re with you at work, on the bus and the train, and maybe even in your own family. They make you angry and confused. And they’re making your life more and more stressful. In fact, in workplace surveys, they are a major cause of stress.

I’m talking, of course, about difficult people—the ones who always disagree, always complain, and are always angry. You can’t avoid difficult people, but you can control how you react to them. Today I’m going to share advice about dealing with these people. It’s not the easiest advice to follow, but it might help lower your stress.

Most importantly, stay calm. Take deep breaths and try not to get angry or defensive. Listen carefully to what people have to say, and do your best to understand how they feel and what’s bothering them. You don’t know what’s happening in their lives or what’s in their minds, so be understanding and respectful. If people really feel that you’re listening to them, they might be willing to listen to you. And if the person is angry because you’ve done something wrong, say, “I’m sorry” or, “I’m going to try to fix this.” If you haven’t done anything wrong, though, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and say, “Please don’t talk to me like that.”

Be careful about how you express sympathy. It may seem like a good idea to say, “I understand,” but often it’s not. Sometimes people just want to express anger or frustration. You mean to sound comforting, but when you say, “I understand” too quickly, they may think you just don’t want to take the time to really listen to how they feel. Instead, ask them to tell you more about what’s bothering them. Similarly, while humor can sometimes help people to feel better, be careful about smiling or joking when someone is very upset. Smiling too much can backfire if people feel that you’re laughing at them.

Another thing that you shouldn’t do–no matter how much you want to–is demand that people change their behavior. They probably won’t, and they may feel the request is disrespectful. And it’s particularly important not to argue with unreasonable people; they’re not going to listen to reason anyway, right? An argument is only going to make you angry, and that is the last thing you want. The more emotional you get, the more unreasonable other people will be.

Finally, when you’ve finished dealing with difficult people, take care of your own stress. Get some exercise. Spend some time in nature. If you got through an encounter with a difficult person and didn’t lose your cool, you need to congratulate yourself. Keeping calm isn’t always easy; you should feel good about it!

Difficult people will always be in your life–there’s just no way to get away from them. But interacting with them thoughtfully can remove a lot of stress from your day.

Exercise 4

A. Listen the review. Why does the writer think people should read this book?

 It discusses important ideas about humanity.

 It explains what is wrong with extreme altruists.

 It tells interesting stories about heroic acts.

B. Listen again. Circle the correct answers, according to the article.

1   By extreme altruist, the writer means a person who ___.

      a   jumps into a river to save a drowning stranger

      b   makes long-term difficult sacrifices for others

      c   volunteers at food banks and makes monthly donations

2   Some people believe that extreme altruists ___.

      a   may actually be hurting people instead of helping them

      b   are not sacrificing as much as they say they are

      c   are helping strangers instead of friends and family

3   Extreme altruists believe that ___.

      a   it’s more important to help a lot of people than to just help the people you know

      b   we should help our own communities before we help others

      c   it’s never worth it to put families and friends at risk

Answers & Audioscripts

A

a

B

1 b   2 c   3 a

Book Review:

Strangers Drowning

*****

Reviewer: Ken Barton

A man gives so much of his salary to the poor that he has to look through garbage bins to feed himself. A middle-class couple with two children adopts 20 more, many of them with special needs. A woman donates her kidney to a total stranger. These people are extreme altruists. They don’t just make a small monthly donation or volunteer every other week. They make serious, often life-long, sacrifices to help others, and they are the subject of Larissa MacFarquhar’s book Strangers Drowning.

The title of this book may make you think of a hero who jumps into a river to rescue a drowning stranger, but extreme altruism is not the same as a one-time action. Most of us can understand why people do something heroic in an emergency. It’s much harder to understand people who choose to make constant sacrifices. They make us feel uncomfortable; we suspect there is something not quite right with them. MacFarquhar’s book explores extreme altruism in detail.

So, why do many people feel so uncomfortable about extreme altruism? Shouldn’t we be glad about someone helping others? Part of the reason we have these attitudes is that we like our comforts and don’t want to feel bad about enjoying them. We also may feel overwhelmed by the huge number of people in the world who need help. But MacFarquhar explains another reason: Most of us really aren’t sure if these people are doing the right thing. We believe that it’s important to put family or community before strangers, and extreme altruists don’t do that. For example, the woman who donated her kidney put her own health at risk, which could affect those who love her.

MacFarquhar shows that extreme altruists don’t understand why the person drowning in front of us is considered more important than the one drowning on the other side of the world. They believe that the best way to live life is to help as many people as possible.

What makes this book so interesting is that it’s not just a group of stories about extreme altruists. MacFarquhar spends much of it discussing the deeper issues around how these people live and think and what that means for the rest of us. It is a fascinating, complex, and intelligent look at humanity—definitely worth your time.

Exercise 5

A. Listen. What is the topic of the presentation?

B. Listen again. Answer the questions.

 Who is Junio talking about? _____________________

 How are the two friends different from each other? _____________________

 What uncomfortable interactions does Junio talk about? _____________________

 What does Junio say he appreciates? _____________________

Answers & Audioscripts

A

a friend who it takes a while to get to know and like

B

1   Omar, a friend from his study group

2   They have different beliefs about honesty and being polite.

3   the time Omar said he didn’t want to go to a move because he thought it looked boring; the time Omar told their friend Daniel to study and go to class more often

4   Omar’s honest opinions and the way he’s comfortable with conflict

There are some people that you just get along with immediately. There are other people that it takes you a while to get to know and to like. My friend Omar was one of those people. He and I have very different attitudes about honesty, and it definitely took some time for me to appreciate that—and him.

When I was growing up, my parents taught me that I should try not to say things that would upset people when it wasn’t necessary, and I still follow that advice to avoid arguments and disagreements. On the other hand, Omar believes it’s more important to be honest all the time.

When I first met Omar, he seemed rude to me. For example, after class one day, I invited everyone in our study group to see a movie, and I was surprised when he said, “No, thanks. That movie looks really boring.” I couldn’t believe it! I would have told a white lie and said, “I’m sorry, but I have other plans today,” instead of being so direct.

Another time he seemed impolite to me was when Daniel, a guy in our study group, was complaining that our class was too hard and the tests weren’t fair. Trying to be nice, I pretended to agree with Daniel and show sympathy, but Omar said exactly what he was thinking again. He told Daniel, “The problem isn’t the class. The real problem is that you need to do homework and come to class more often,” which was true.

We finished our class a few semesters ago, and we’re still friends because the better I get to know Omar, the more I appreciate him. I’m grateful that I can always trust him to give me an honest opinion, and I admire the way he’s comfortable with conflict.

If you know someone whose personality is different from your own, I recommend that you give him or her a chance and see what you can learn from them. Thank you.

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